When people find out you’re gay, a lot of things can go wrong. And just when you think it can’t get any worse with all the negativity coming your way, it actually does. Though technically at that point you’d already be immune but even that won’t stop you from being a little ticked off.
So how can it get worse you ask? Ignorance (which is obviously the root of all the negativity anyways so there’s no surprise there).
I might not be speaking for everyone regarding this experience but I’m sure it’s common enough to permit me to rant about it. When you let it be known that you’re in a relationship, this question will almost always come up. “So, who’s the girl (or boy) in the relationship?”. And in my head I always answer “hold on, let me check if one of us finally grew a vagina. Nope. Still a dick. Let me get back to you in a month”.
Let me tell you, it isn’t simply a matter of who’s the “pitcher” and who’s the “catcher” (if you get my drift) that shows who’s dominant and submissive in a relationship. And for the most part, it’s almost never just one-way unless it’s the way they want it.
In essence, I guess what I’m saying is, don’t go asking or assuming unless you’re ready for a horrifyingly detailed answer.
In the same way that a gay person is different from a straight person, the same goes for their relationships. Though a homosexual relationship contains all the bitter-sweet romance that’s in a “normal” relationship, it’s also very different. And it’s not like we have daily role models to look up to for tips on it so we can’t really explain it ourselves until we’ve had our own share of experiences (even I was confused at first on who was going to pay for dinner on the first date). But regarding gender roles? We’re the same gender. That’s that. Plain and simple.
Knowing who’s more dominant and submissive shouldn’t affect one’s image the same way how a man’s masculinity doesn’t diminish under the dominance of his wife.