How you spend your time

You always tell me that you have a lot on your mind. That you’re busy running errands, processing documents, fixing everything, basically spending all your free time to ensure that my sister and I will have an easy future ahead of us.

At the moment you’re busy with the new house. Filing the necessary paperwork, canvasing materials, designing the interior, checking and approvingthe layout and blueprint.

I appreciate all of this. I really do. But you don’t see what I see. You see this as getting things finished as soon as possible. But what I see is how this is stressing you out. I see how you are running out of time for yourself. Time for your family…

You always talk about how you want us to have a comfortable life when you’re gone. You always talk about how little time you have left. You don’t even understand how bad that makes us feel everytime you say that. You do all these things and yet why can’t you realize that we don’t really care about all these material things. You keep saying your time here will end soon. So why don’t you spend it with us?

Please… choose your priorities…

Although quite frankly, I’ve gotten used to it already. Too used to it. That I’d rather spend my entire day in my room than socializing with you to be honest. I’m sorry. But nowadays whenever you speak, you just have this way of making me feel bad and guilty about everything. You’re mentally destroying me.

Have been for years actually.

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