Aftereffects of great movies

I have a weird mental process when I watch a great movie. It has different stages; three at least.
First is when I keep imagining the possibilities that may happen in the character’s life after the movie. You know that feeling when you want a sequel and there’s none? It sucks so bad so I try to compensate with my imagination. If the movie is really good, I even try to put myself in the shoes of the protagonist or even just one of the back-up characters. Then I try to compare my life or try to insert some of the scenes of the movies in my life and imagine how things would turn out or how things may be different.
Sometimes if the movie has an attractive cast, I go into a weird stalker mode where I do a bunch of research on those actors male or female. I try to find out as many things as I can about them. Other works, past, life, even physical attributes e.g. eye color and height. If they’re really that awesome, I’ll even watch some to most to all of their works even if the genre of their other movies are not my taste. At peak of my weirdness I actually imagine having normal conversations with said actors. Like being buddies with them. Heck I sometimes even imagine being in a relationship with them. Even with the age difference. Weird, I know. But I guess that’s what happens when you become a hardcore fan right?

At the epitome of my weirdness my personality usually starts to change. Sometimes I try to copy the personality of the protagonist or the character I like in the movie. Sometimes I try to change my personality to fit the personality of the character or maybe even the actor’s real life personality. This is when I start thinking “If I do this, he/she might not like this… I shouldn’t do that….”. I’d feel shy for no reason thinking about what the actor/character would do if he/she saw me doing that particular thing at that moment.

Sometimes in between, I’d try inserting strangers into the picture. Say I see a stranger walking down the road. I’d think “He must have never watched that movie… She probably hasn’t even heard about the actor…” and stuff like that. Even this makes me sad.

Then the latter part of this process is a very sad one. Usually, I adore adult actors. When that happens, I usually think about life and death. I think about how… how these actors will probably pass away first or worse, retire from acting. And how time will change how they look and maybe they won’t get much jobs anymore in the acting industry. And how I’ll probably never meet them in real life no matter how much I want to… This really puts me down to the point where I feel so depressed I may even possibly cry at the thought of never meeting the actor.
But then again, I really don’t know what I’ll do if I do meet them in real life. I’m not one of those types that would scream at a mall when I see a celebrity. I may even be too shy to ask for a picture or an autograph.
But I’d really like to meet Trevor… An autograph would be pretty awesome. Los Angeles huh…
Why am I this weird?

Oh and if you haven’t guessed yet, yeah, I just watched a great movie and I’m currently experiencing all these. That’s why I’m really sad right now. -sigh-

It’s weird how watching a great movie may make me regret it at some point but you know you’d regret it even more if you never even found out about it.


I never actually thought of making a bucket list. Until now.

I wish I could meet Trevor Wright. Probably the only thing right now in my bucket list.

//And if you don’t know, the title is a movie. “Shelter” (2007). And yeah he’s in it

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